Day 8: Observe And Report

"Right now the world needs a hero."
Well Seth Rogen's character is far from it.  Rogen stars as Ronnie Barnhardt, a mentally unstable mall cop.  Ronnie sees himself as the one to solve all problems and when a flasher is terrorizing the mall, Ronnie feels he can save the day and get the girl.  Now if the premise made you feel nice and fuzzy you won't feel that way watching this movie.

It should be noted that this a black comedy, meaning this is one of the darkest comedies ever.  The film pokes fun at the most taboo subjects and yes it is very funny to laugh at those.  The comedy is very well done and has several qoutable lines to boot.  Seth Rogen did a great job as the over-the-head Ronnie, but I feel that fellow mall cop Dennis, played by Michael Pena, steals the show in all of the scenes he is present.  And of course I can't forget Aziz Ansari's bath and soap character who constantly has fights with Ronnie.

Favorite Quote(s):

Charles: [Charlie is asked to join the Special Elite Task Force] Wait a minute, are we getting paid extra for this? Because it seems like...
Ronnie: Let me ask you something - how much did they get paid to storm Normandy, how much did King Arthur get paid to kill Merlin, how much did they get paid to invent Television? Nothing. They did it because they knew it was right.

Nell: Is there really a pervert here?
Ronnie: Yes. Yes, ma'am, there is.
Nell: That's scary.
Ronnie: Not for me so much, you know, it's actually kind of my job, to put myself in harm's way, to protect weaker people such as yourself who are crippled in the leg and whatnot.
Nell: Oh, my cast is coming off in like a month.
Ronnie: I do it, so other people can sleep well at night, meanwhile, I'm up all night fighting demons, just screaming bloody murder, waking up with nosebleeds, night terrors, finding myself a mile from home with bloody feet and a gun in my hand I have no idea how I got there, but pound for pound, I'd say there's not one human being in this mall that deserves this coffee as much as myself.
Nell: Wow.

In Memory: Sidney Lumet

As a truely gifted director, Sidney Lumet wanted to question the ideas of others:

...he wanted to see why we were mad as hell:

...and he wanted to know what we do out of desparation:

Through his directing, Lumet could pull convincing performances from his actors.  Sidney Lumet worked with some of the best because he was one of the best.

Sidney Lumet

1924-2011

Day 7: Dumb and Dumber

Of course this will be on anybody's favorite comedies list.
The film concerns two dimwits Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carry) and Harry Dunn (Jeff Daniels) who go on a cross-country trip to return a suitcase to a woman in Aspen.

The film is a true classic in the realm of gross-out comedy.  Both actors do a great job being stupid and continued to do so, except for Jeff Daniels who strayed away from this type of comedy, but I wouldn't mind seeing him return.

Favorite Quotes(s):

Lloyd: That's it. I've had it with this dump! We've got no food, we got no jobs,... our pets' HEADS ARE FALLIN' OFF!!!

Harry: [his leg is on fire while asking for Beth Jordan's phone number] FOR GOD'S SAKES, JUST GIMME THE DAMN NUMBER!!!!

Lloyd: Excuse me, little old lady. Do you have change for a dollar?
Elderly woman: Change? No I'm sorry, I don't.
Lloyd: Well, can you do me a favor and watch my stuff here while I go break a dollar?
Elderly woman: Of course.
Lloyd: Thanks. Hey, I guess they're right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I'll be right back. Don't you go dying on me!

Harry: Where's the booze?
Lloyd: I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it comin'!
[Harry starts to moan in despair]
Lloyd: Harry... Oh, come on, Harry. Cheer up...
Harry: [voice breaks] It gets worse, Lloyd. My parakeet, Petey...
Lloyd: Yeah?
Harry: He's dead.
Lloyd: Oh... Oh, man, I'm sorry, Harry. What happened?
Harry: His head fell off.
Lloyd: [reacts; whispers] His head fell off?
Harry: Yeah, he was pretty old.

Harry: I can't feel my fi-fingers anymore, Lloyd. T-th-they're numb!
Lloyd: Ooh. Maybe you should wear these extra gloves... my hands are starting to get sweaty.
Harry: Extra gloves? You've had...this pair...of extra gloves...this whole time??
Lloyd: Yeah! We're in the Rockies.
Harry: I'm going to kill you.
Lloyd: [chuckles] ...What?
Harry: I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna kill you, Lloyd!

Day 6: Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

Walk Hard involves the story of Dewey Cox, a famous singer who deals with the hardships of drugs, death, relationships, drugs, music, drugs, and machete fighting.  Along the way he meets many other famous musicians including Elvis Presley, Buddy Holly, and The Beatles.

This one of my favorite comedies mainly because of the absurd nature and John C. Reilly’s spot –on comic timing.  Much of the movie includes cameos by other musicians.  The film heavily parodies other musical biopics like Walk the Line and Ray.  The movie is a near perfect film.  There are many moments I find hilarious including the fact that every time Dewey feels defeated he rips a bathroom sink out of the wall.  But the scene that I find especially great is Dewey’s meeting with The Beatles:  Paul Rudd as John Lennon, Jack Black as Paul McCartney, Jason Swartzman as Ringo Starr, and

Favorite Line(s):

Nate: Let's go play machete fight. Ain't no terrible tragedy's gonna happen today!

Elvis Presley: See that? That's call karate. Only two kinds of people know that... the Chinese and the King.

Dewey Cox: Maybe you don't believe in me at all.

Edith: I do believe in you... I just know you're gonna fail.

Paul McCartney: [eyes closed, waving hands] We're nothing but...grains of sand.

Dewey Cox: That was freakin' transcendental, Paul McCartney. Don't you agree, John Lennon?

John Lennon: Yes, Dewey. With meditation there's no limit to what we can...[glances at camera]...imagine.

Dewey Cox: What do you think, George Harrison, of the Beatles?

George Harrison: I don't know, y'know, I'm just trying to get a few more songs on the album...

Ringo Starr: And as Ringo Starr, I'm not so interested in meditation. I just like to have fun. [flashes peace sign]

Dewey Cox: [laughs] I like the little one.

George Harrison: It's so dark in this tent, y'know, it reminds me of when we, the Beatles, the four Beatles...

Paul McCartney: From Liverpool.

John Lennon: We are from Liverpool.

George Harrison: ...used to play those dark clubs in Hamburg. You remember that, Paul?

Paul McCartney: [carefully] Of course I do, I booked 'em. I'm the leader of the Beatles.

Dewey Cox: But I have to say, I like your stuff. It's pretty good, and most of your records I really enjoy.

Paul McCartney: Well, we're big fans of your records too. We like to think that "Hard Days Night" is our "Guilty As Charged".

John Lennon: Great record. Great record.

Theo: Well, we're real big fans of y'all.

Sam: Huge fans.

Dave: You guys are almost as good as the Monkees. You guys are great.

Ringo Starr: I think I might adjourn to another dimension, take some LSD. You care to join me?

Sam: Let's do that.

George Harrison: Care to join us for some LSD, Dewey? It's good for you.

Paul McCartney: Built by scientists, it is.

Ringo Starr: Lysergic.

Dewey Cox: [points at wedding ring] Gotta check with headquarters.

John Lennon: Come on, Dewey Cox, I think you might enjoy it...open up your mind, a new experience, a new level of consciousness, like we did, because we are the Beatles.

Paul McCartney: Why don't you just let him decide. If he wants to take LSD he'll take it. He doesn't have to listen to you, you're not the boss of him.

John Lennon: [sulkily] Don't tell me what to say and what not to say, Paul McCartney.

Paul McCartney: I'm sick of you being so dark when I'm so impish and whimsical! I'm sick of it!

Edith:  It's illegal to be married to two people at the same time, Dewey!

Dewey Cox:  What about if, if you're famous?

Day 5: Hamlet 2

So what is there to say about this movie other than it is very funny.
Steve Coogan stars in this wonderfully demented film as Dana Marschz:  a failed actor and recovering alcoholic who now works in Tucson, Arizona as a high school drama teacher.  All the plays he has produced have been adaptations of once popular movies and he has only two students to boot.  Soon after he is given an overflow of students from cancelled courses and is then told theater will be shut down.  In desperation and stupidity, Dana decides to write a sequel to Shakespeare's play Hamlet.  But due to the controversial nature of the play(being that all the characters died in the original, there is a time machine, Jesus is a character, and one of the musical numbers is titled Rock Me Sexy Jesus) Dana is forbidden to produce the play on school grounds.  With the help of his shifty students, they find a new venue for the play.

The movie is quite risque in moments, but is actually good natured at heart.  The cast is very talanted and Katherine Keener was pretty good as Dana's cynical wife.  The musical numbers are quite funny, especially the song Rock Me Sexy Jesus.  This movie is great and holds no punches.

Favorite Line(s):

Dana Marschz: Chuy, you're going to have a magical life. Because no matter where you go, it's always going to be better than Tucson.

Dana Marschz: You can't let your ethnic narrow-mindedness stop your son from thriving in our culture.
Mr. Marquez: I have to take exception to that characterization.
Dana Marschz: Heywood's a bad boy. He's a gang banger. A deadbeat. But he also has a gift.
Mrs. Marquez: Who is Heywood?
Dana Marschz: Your son. Heywood Jablome.
[pause; realization dawns upon Dana]
Dana Marschz: Oh. I just got that.

Brie Marschz: Maybe it's better that we just can't get pregnant. I feel like we shouldn't pass on this gene pool.

Dana Marschz: I work for gas money! That's why I'm always on rollerskates.

Dana Marschz: Drama has been cancelled.
Brie Marschz: Finally!  Now you can go back to your job at Rite Aid and start making some real money.

Gary: Oh ,Dana, I found a great parking spot right out front and there was still time on the meter.
Brie Marschz: [Groans] They should just ship you over to the Gulf, you know, let you talk to people.  All the terrorists would just kill themselves.

Day 4: Scott Pilgrim VS. The World

"Long ago... in the mysterious land... of Toronto, Canada... Scott Pilgrim was dating a high schooler."
And so begins the tale of Scott Pilgrim:  a indie rocker just trying to live.
Scott Pilgrim plays bass for the band Sex Bob-Om with his high school friends:  Kim, Stephen, and Young Neil.  One night Scott meets the girl of his dreams:  the pink-haired raven, Ramona Flowers.  He falls in love, even though he is dating a psychotic high schooler: Knives Chau.  All seems well with Romona, until Scott learns in order to date Ramona, he must defeat her seven evil exes.

The movie bombed at the box-office, but has had success on DVD.  The movie is directed by Edgar Wright of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz fame.  The film stars a slew of young actors including Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Chris Evans, and Jason Schwartzman.  The actors all did a great job and the film is chalked full of great fight scenes and equally great music.  The scene that happens to be my favorite is the fight with the 3rd evil ex, Todd Ingram played by Brandon Routh, mainly because he has super powers because he is vegan.  The whole filmed has a great energy that keeps you interested.  The best images include comic book text that emphasizes the sound effects and the sound effects include those from video games from the 80's and 90's.  This is truly an epic movie.

Favorite Lines(s):

Scott Pilgrim: We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!

Luke "Crash" Wilson: Good evening. My name's Crash, and these are the boys.
Wallace Wells: [heckling from balcony.] Is that girl a boy, too?
Luke "Crash" Wilson: Yes! [Trasha gives Wallace the finger.]
Kim Pine: [offstage.] They have a girl drummer?!
Luke "Crash" Wilson: This song is called "I'm So Sad, I'm So Very Very Sad." It goes a little something like this.
[Trasha counts in on the drums, and Crash and Joel play two chords...]
Luke "Crash" Wilson: SOOOOO SAD!... Thank you.
Wallace Wells: [heckling from balcony.] It's not a race, guys!
Luke "Crash" Wilson: Okay, this song goes out to the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony, and it's called "We Hate You, Please Die."
Wallace Wells: Sweet! [to Jimmy.] I love this song.

Matthew Patel: Mr. Pilgrim! It is I, Matthew Patel! Consider our fight... begun!
[Matthew leaps into the air, preparing to attack Scott.]
Scott Pilgrim: [slow motion.] What did I do? What do I do?
Wallace Wells: [slow motion.] FIGHT!

Wallace Wells: [to Scott.] Hey! What's with his outfit?
Guy: [dismissive.] Yeah, is he a pirate?
Scott Pilgrim: [to Matthew.] Are you a pirate?
Matthew Patel: ... Pirates are in this year!

Todd Ingram: What? I'm not afraid to hit a girl. I'm a rock star.

Envy Adams: You are incorrigible.
Todd Ingram: I don't know the meaning of the word.
[A caption appears saying:  He really doesn't.]

Envy Adams: Didn't you know? Todd's vegan.
[Todd flings Scott through a brick wall into an alleyway outside.]
Scott Pilgrim: Vegan?
Todd Ingram: It's not really that big of a deal.
Scott Pilgrim: No kidding. Anyone can be vegan.
Todd Ingram: Ovo-lacto-vegetarian, maybe.
Scott Pilgrim: Ovo-what?
Todd Ingram: I partake not in the meat, nor the breastmilk, nor the ovum, of any creature with a face.
Envy Adams: Short answer, being vegan just makes you better than most people.
Todd Ingram: Bingo.

Todd Ingram: We have unfinished business, I and he.
Scott Pilgrim: He and me.
Todd Ingram: Don't you talk to me about grammar!
Scott Pilgrim: I dislike you. Capisce?
Todd Ingram: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.
Scott Pilgrim: What?
Todd Ingram: Because you'll be dust by Monday...
Scott Pilgrim: [beat, confused.] Ummm...
Todd Ingram: Because you'll be pulverized in two seconds. And the cleaning lady, she cleans up dust. She dusts.
Scott Pilgrim: ... S-so, what's on Monday?
Todd Ingram: 'Cause... it's Friday now, she has the weekends off, so... Monday. Right?

Day 3: Wet Hot American Summer

I sort of see it as a crime that this film went unnoticed when first released.
Wet Hot American Summer, made in 2001, tells us the absurd story of Camp Firewood and the counselors and campers that inhabit it in the early 80's.  There are different types of characters in this movie including a camp director, a love-lorn counselor, an astrophysicist, an overbearing cook, and a can of veggie soup.

The film is absurd comedy at it's best.  David Wain directs and most of the stars were originally from the skit comedy show, The State.  I love how the movie thrives on terrible acting, noticable stunt doubles, and crazy dialouge.  Paul Rudd is especially funny as an obnoxious camp counselor.  All the characters have their moment to shine, but Paul Rudd has the best moments.

Three scenes still hold to me and never get old. 

The last one is probably the best double-takes in cinema history.  The first is just a classic example of 80's training montages.  And the second is just made better by Michael Ian Black's wooing all the way to town.

Favorite Line(s):

Beth: McKinley, four lower campers are stuck in the ropes course. I meant to tell you about that yesterday, but could you get to it now?

Susie: Beth, I may regret saying this, but how dare you usurp my authority as producer... director slash choreographer of this talent show. I mean, you were wrong to do that. I need you to know I have been busting my BALLS woman! I am telling you the musical numbers are a mess, my kids are a bunch of amateurs, and the last thing I need today is some diabetic freak prancing around on stage making my life a living HELL! [Long Pause] All right, I'll put him last.

Gene: Now finish up them taters, I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.
Gary: Come on - what?
Gene: Finish up the taters.
Gary: And then what did you say?
Gene: And then what did I say?
Gary: You said you were going to... fondle your sweaters.
Gene: Ah, uh - no I didn't. I said fondue with cheddar, I was thinking about making fondue with cheddar cheese for dinner tonight.
Gary: No Gene, that is not what you said.
Gene: That is what I said. Fondue with cheddar.

Andy: You taste like a burger.  I don't like you anymore.

Swimming kid: Andy, have you seen my swimming buddy? If I can't find him, I'm telling Beth that you let him drown.
Andy: I was busy!
Swimming kid:  It's your job to make sure kids don't drown!

Day 2: Galaxy Quest

1.  Yes this poster isn't very good and is lame.
2.  Tim Allen hasn't been in that many good movies.  And yes he was a coke head in the seventies.

I wouldn't lie about something like that when we're talking about the dad from Home Inprovement.



3.  Galaxy Quest is actually a very good movie.

Made in 1999, Galaxy Quest is a somewhat underrated comedy.

The story concerns the cast of a popular science fiction show from the 80's, Galaxy Quest (spoofing Star Trek).  They are washed up and haven't had any work since the show except for commercial spots and convention shows.  Jason Nesmith (Allen), the lead from the show, is soon contacted by a peaceful alien race that has been watching the show for years, believing that all the television shows on Earth are historical documents.  In this case, the cast of Galaxy Quest is mistaken for actual space travelers.  The aliens wish for the help of the cast to defeat an alien warlord, Sarris.  And for good measure they have created full size version of the show's ship.

The movie is extremely hilarious.  Sigourney Weaver, Allen Rickman(who never once takes off his alien make-up through the movie), and Sam Rockwell co-star.  Sam Rockwell was actually quite funny as an actor who is worried he will die on the mission because he only appeared in one episode of Galaxy Quest (and died in the first five minutes of the episode). 

Favorite Line(s):

Guy Fleegman: I changed my mind, I wanna go back.
Sir Alexander Dane: After all the fuss you made about getting left behind?
Guy Fleegman: Yeah, but that's when I thought I was the crewman that stays on the ship and something is up there and it kills me. But now I'm thinking I'm the guy that gets killed by some monster 5 minutes after we land on the planet.
Jason Nesmith: You're not going to die on the planet, Guy.
Guy Fleegman: I'm not? Then what's my last name?
Jason Nesmith: It's, uh, uh– I don't know.
Guy Fleegman: Nobody knows. You know why? Because my character isn't important enough for a last name, because I'm gonna die 5 minutes in.

Guy Fleegman: I'm just a glorified extra, Fred, I'm a dead man anyway. If I gotta die, I'd rather go out a hero than a coward.
Fred Kwan: Guy– Guy, maybe you're the plucky comedy relief, you ever think about that?
Guy Fleegman: Plucky?
Fred Kwan: Besides, [goofy laugh] I just had this really interesting idea...yeah, let's go.
Guy Fleegman: Are you stoned?

[Trying to explain TV to the Thermians]
Gwen Demarco: They're not ALL "historical documents." Surely, you don't think Gilligan's Island is a... 
Mathesar: Those poor people.

Sir Alexander Dane: You're just going to have to figure out what it wants. What is its motivation?
Jason Nesmith: It's a rock monster. It doesn't have motivation.
Sir Alexander Dane: See, that's your problem, Jason. You were never serious about the craft.

Guy Fleegman: Did you guys ever WATCH the show?

Day 1: Airplane!

You fools!  You foolish fools!  You continue to read my blog!  And I bring you the first out of a set of thirty: The Thirty Best Comedies.

"Thank God it's only a motion picture!"

Made in 1980 by Jim Abrhams, David Zucker, and Jerry Zucker, the film still lives up to this day.

Aiplane follows a night when a former pilot, Ted Striker, joins the passengers of a plane to get back Elaine, the woman he loves.  Unfortunately the crew and passengers are now suffering from food poisoning due to the bad fish.  Now, Ted Striker must pilot the plane with the help of an inflatable auto-pilot.

The movie is very hilarious and one of the best comedies of all time.  And by far, the one who steals the show, is Leslie Nielsen as Doctor Rumack, one of the passengers who isn't sick("I had lasagna.")

Best Line(s):

Striker: Surely you can't be serious?

Rumack: I am serious.  And don't call me Shirley.

Rumack:  I just want to tell you both:  good luck.  We're all counting on you.

McCroskey:  Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Captain Ouver:  Joey... have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

Rumack:  How soon can we land?

Captain Ouver:  I can't tell?

Rumack:  You can tell me, I'm a doctor.


More to come, readers!